I've been feeling a little dull lately. Not like I hate life, but just feeling it go by so fast and stuck in the same circle of same old, same old. Hopes and desires-yes. But no real plans or purposes. I haven't been depressed, but just a little empty, wanting more, but having nothing I can truly strive for. Lies, I know.
I know I need to be content and thankful for what I have and where I am, because I am truly blessed. But today I really struggled with this feeling of being down and/or incomplete.
I found myself struggling with a sin that I struggle with on and off, but I felt it at its full capacity today and I was heartbroken that I struggled in this way. I was mad and sick to my stomach and I apologized over and over again. I was lost.
But as I was singing to this little girl I nanny, 'Nothing, But the Blood' came up and I was completely in awe with these words:
"This is all my hope and peace, nothing but the blood of Jesus. This is all my rightness, nothing but the blood of Jesus!
And oh precious is the flow, that makes me white as snow. No other fount I know.
Nothing but the blood of Jesus!"
Nothing I can do...Nothing. Not only did this give me hope, knowing that my sins are completely washed clean, but gave me peace knowing that my cup over flows.
In Sunday school a couple of weeks ago, my teacher mentioned how we can often find ourselves wishing we had better things or was as 'lucky' as the guy next to us. And man do I constantly struggle with this. Always feeling less or wanting more. Wishing I was as pretty as 'her', had as many cool clothes, or had a fun personality with lots of friends.
We think our cup is half full compared to that guy, but, uh...praise the Lord!!! Because, as my Sunday School teacher said, our cup should be FULL... with Gods wrath! But mine is not because of Jesus blood! My cup overflows... with God's blessings!
I am in no way saying I am perfect, because I sin, always. And today I will go home to say something unkind to my sister or be jealous and struggle with the same old sin. But I wanted to share with you want gave me such hope and peace today.
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